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last night, at about 7pm, i was in a line that stretched from gil puyat all the way to the expanse of whatever-it-is. and as i stood there i felt so lost, and yet the thought of the geographical estrangement seemed so palatably real. from where i stood i could see people, the senile ones, the browns ones, the blank ones and the curious ones. and as their visage blinked now and then behind the urban dark, suddenly the world seemed so substantial. it was as if i woke up again from my daily oblivion, oblivion to the fact that there exists a worthier world beyond the greenly-bound space of up diliman, a dominion i would often not see. because i thought i wasn't supposed to.

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what the heck.

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the point is i learned so much now. in just two months i realized that there could be nothing more scarier within the context of the argument of wisdom than intellectual pretension. like what my floormates and i have discussed, the population of diliman abounds with neurons as much as it does with hypocrisy. and when the level surges that is where the environment starts to get stickier.

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but still, i know that i am just in my first year in college. and in due time, i will no longer look at this new world the way i look at it now. on some days i feel like i am again cursed with existential linearity, and it makes me think that my life is plunging down into a senseless monotony. but what amazes me is how much i am cheered up by even the smallest things, like taking a new route back to kalai, or trying new food offerings. perhaps it has to do with the fact that suddenly the world became even bigger.

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speaking of the intellectual pretension, it somehow made me realize that our intellect is as diverse as our being. and so the error of these pretenders is that they tend to presuppose that their mental capabilities are apt to be standardized and then pitted against the others. and they think they know it.

so superficial.

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i went to elbi and saw my schoolmates again. we spent the time talking about stuffs, watching ratatouille, strolling along the elbi campus and snoring over the arduous jeep rides. fun. i hope i could feel the same way in diliman, i mean, i could talk in bicolano while laughing around the academic oval with them. i'm really getting tired of speaking in tagalog. ang konyo naman pag nag english ako. nyahaha.[p.s. sabi ng mga bitter people, barok daw ako mag english.amf.]

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i thought of a quote just this afternoon while i was staring at the seductively green fields of laguna on my way back to Q.C.

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aargh. don't believe me. i am a very inconsistent thinker.

beware.