i want to write about kalay because i want to remember it in every way i could, even in simple things like a mere recall, a novel, a poem or that sudden gush of humble memories. i want to put in words all that chunk of joy, of unexpected growth, of maroon tiles and smudged dirt on the pale walls. i want to write an era within a story, but the expanse at which i have grown to love kalay flows throughout my concept of a world in great rivers of memories intertwined, and now all i could do is to sit and be silent. because kalay has been so much more.

i know i can't stay in kalay forever, that's why i don't want to cry in here, or in any where else. it has been an unwritten part of the deal that kalay will not be mine during the moments when i want my memories to come alive again. i cannot recreate a year filled with so much life within my head. but here i have the memories, and somehow, in simple ways, i am made to feel that i can have these memories forever.

First Floor Boys Primo Machismo

they say we are the silent, unnoticed bunch. but that's the outsider's description. we:
1) don't care about most of the dorm activities because they are basically opportunities for pathetic showing-off, flirting and pre-mating
2) we have a big loud horribly gay guy in the person of riley palanca
3) we have an unofficial non-straight committee (NSCom) with its own application process
4) we have really gay guys who happen to be straight
5) we have kim palapar who is forever addicted to O2 jam
6) we have jd censon who gets addicted to any computer game he gets his hands on
7) we have a LAN cable for DoTA cravings
8) we have laptops whose primary purposes are DoTA, O2 jam and movie marathons
9) we ousted our resident assistant
10) we have a mating same-sex couple in the floor
11) we have karl pilario who worships studying
12) we have marco sambrano who eats e.coli
13) we have drinkers and smokers who cannot spare the halls of kalay
14) we have people who are always depressed
15) we quarrel about girlfriends, or boyfriends
16) we have people who vent out their depression towards stuffed toys
17) we have nikko yabut who should be ridiculed to no end
18) we have gelbert macaraeg.period.
19) we have a pseudo-floormate named allan habon
20) we have really, really Christian RA, Kuya Jerson
21) we have an atypical oblation scholar, gerald reamillo [and me...]
22) we have a megamouth, communist-worshipping, bagulaya disciple, oswald imbat.
23) we have b123 for all our depression and companion needs
23) we have delivery services bringing with them red horse or emperador
24) we have emperador bottles hidden in our rooms
25) we have john dale and his super-harassed Canon digicam
26) we have karlos naidas and his archi student-typical room
27) we do not have an FA floormate
28) we drink ourselves during outings
29) we have glenn navoa and his kris aquino perfume
30) we have louis jadie and his super fly-away hair
31) we have rico and his floor-property room
32) we have people who are actually happy watching the saw series
33) we have oswald and i shouting to each other about society
34) we have the passive com and their admirable efficiency
35) and then you have me [lols]

SIGAW beybehs

1) we have an unofficial frehd linggo
2) we make our prod nights look like high school slumber parties
3) we have an ugly first issue
4) we have big layout artists like wang
5) we have hidden assets, like jeffrey umotoy, who is hidden, literally
6) we have leya and her anorexia
7) we have carla and her weight woes
8) we have a kimchi-worshipping, dramatic adviser, ate wennah
9) we have no office!
10) we are too lazy for a last issue [or is it me]
11) we have always happy people like mario
12) we have hot literary editors like michael and mario
13) we have fred, and he is so fred.
14) we have nonexistent, ghost staffers
15) we have steffi and her FA-ish layouts
16) we have our endless, happiness photo ops
17) we're more of a happiness clique than a functional, serious newsletter team [which i think is a good thing]

i'll always look back at kalay and smile for everything it has done to make me this way. i cannot put in words how much i have learned and how grateful i am for everything. kalay is like a passive silent hall in there, standing mute and and motionless. i cannot imagine how much it moved me. i don't want to be so emotional now and wish for things like time turning back and all that.

i know that oned day i have to leave, like what i did minutes ago. but in the best ways i can, in the sweetest or bitter-est means, i want to bring kalay with me, every where i could go.

yes. call it a really bad holy week. disclaimer though, i tried to be as repentant as i could, repentant in the sense that i am guilty, yes, heavens, i am SOOO guilty of my sins. anyway, anyhoo and anyhow, i feel so good with myself after finishing four non-stop, heavy to the neurons [whatever!] kind of papers. what kind of nice teacher would make her students write elaborate theories about human personality and love over ten fresh pages of bleached paper? answer: my psychology professor. imagine how much i cringed while digesting the fact that i, me, myself am actually theorizing about luhrvvve. this is just so bad. now i realize i am so grade-conscious.

i have rarely written on my blog lately, which, i feel, is a really bad thing since i am made to think of two reasons why that is so : a) i realized that blogging is such a poor, uncreative way of expressing beautiful, beautiful human thoughts b) i am plain lazy and haggard. whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter since here i am with all the zest, passion and lust for blogging. yeah, beybeh!

i went to diliman yesterday afternoon and had to learn the hard way why black saturday is black saturday. i dropped by kalai to fetch some geography materials and asked org mate for some quick walk at sunken garden with the hopes of having my depression zapped by the oh so glorious sunset sunshine [sounds so redundant]. then lo and behold, clouds began to splatter all over the holy skies and everything was dark and gloomy. god bless the black saturday. well, technically, its easter today, so the catholic church says hello to the risen Lord! let us celebrate. i can get so blasphemous at times. stop me.

i have high hopes for next week, and for the weeks and months to come. i plan on taking a summer course in creative writing 100 to live that writer-ish life of pen, paper and dried leaves by the sunken garden. [naks!may vivid imagery effect na ako]. i will badly miss kalayaan. i don't think this year would be so happy if i didn't stay in that heckuvah dormitory. smile people!


PS. tayo na ba? hahahaha!

my org mates and i decided to give something back to mother philippines by joining this interfaith rally in ayala. the day before, our chairperson was saying something about 50 thousand or so people that will be flocking the demonstration. and i was, like, yeah, whatever, since i thought that rallies had become a thing of the distant, red past. but lo and behold, they're not. this is getting so boring. i went to a rally, that's it. and i honestly believe that this country is better off without a bitchy, slutty president. wrong adjectives!


priest at the stage: let us raise our hands and pray to the Lord, our Lord Jesus Christ, that he help our country.


me: (screaming) pano kung Muslim ako?!


aside from interfaith rallies, i have also been busied lately by our geog camp in mango farm zambales. at first i was so bummed by the whole idea, since i didn't know we had to endure the company of uber dumb varsity jocks. but later on i found the whole experience fun. now i love tequila! yebah!


right now i am in this cafe at SC, the one where you can lick ice cream while checking your multiply. i just voted this morning at palma hall anex, without a bath, since i was so excited to exercise my rights to elect jerrie abella and titus tan. i will kill Roman if they will not win! i take that back.


on our SEA 30 class:


dr.capili: i was in tomas morato when this girl approached me. narinig niya kasi na UP prof ako tapos nag inquire siya kung paano siya mag enroll sa UP. finalist ata siya sa Starstruck last year...what was her name..hmmm... Rich Asuncion, does anybody here know her?


me: Sir, kilala ko siya!


and i was the only one raising my hand. err. what's wrong with these people??! rich asuncion is, like, kinda famous. well..thinking about it...