super psycho(n.) an immensely disturbed individual who is obsessed with ranting, whining, and blabbering about his life. severely unstable and emotionally undefined, a super psycho should always be dealt with at a distance greater than 50 feet and, with some few doses of aspirin.
WHO THE HELL IS SUPER PSYCHO?
Name:Empermeen Mallawee
Nickname:Elp, Elf, Elfer, Elper, Emper, Empermeen, Buknoy, Boknoy, Bok, Mallawee
Age: I am 15. And I mean it.
Address: Honestly?
Favorite Color: Green, Orange
Favorite Food: Rodic's Jumbosilog
Motto in Life: Abolish our selves.
Favorite High School Subject: Biology
Most Hated High School Subject: Values Education
Most Unforgettable Experience: When I abolished my self.
Most Embarrassing Experience: When I abolished my self.
Who is your Crush: My self.
Do you think autograph questions are dumb?: Super.
So why are you answering this?: Why do you care.
Ambition in Life: To be a Super star.
What is Love: Love is what you say when 'horny' doesn't sound right.
If you were a deodorant scent, what would you be?: Natural Scent.
Your film biopic's title would be: E-pal
One word that best describes you: Magnificent.
What can you say about PGMA?: She has a mole on her face.
How about Josepha Estrada?:His stomach is really big.
How about Angel Locsin?:Her face looks too small.
Your alter ego's name is: Kokey
Dedication: World Peace.
Any Last Words?: Rrrawwrr.I'M EVERYWHERE!
We're Just Friends...ter
Yahoo Me, Yahoo You
GIMME MORE! MORE...BLOGS
Allan Habon
Riley Palanca
Aio Arzadon
Cess Carlos
Leya Sumbeling MY FANS SAY THAT...
A HISTORY OF PSYCHOSIS
Nickname:Elp, Elf, Elfer, Elper, Emper, Empermeen, Buknoy, Boknoy, Bok, Mallawee
Age: I am 15. And I mean it.
Address: Honestly?
Favorite Color: Green, Orange
Favorite Food: Rodic's Jumbosilog
Motto in Life: Abolish our selves.
Favorite High School Subject: Biology
Most Hated High School Subject: Values Education
Most Unforgettable Experience: When I abolished my self.
Most Embarrassing Experience: When I abolished my self.
Who is your Crush: My self.
Do you think autograph questions are dumb?: Super.
So why are you answering this?: Why do you care.
Ambition in Life: To be a Super star.
What is Love: Love is what you say when 'horny' doesn't sound right.
If you were a deodorant scent, what would you be?: Natural Scent.
Your film biopic's title would be: E-pal
One word that best describes you: Magnificent.
What can you say about PGMA?: She has a mole on her face.
How about Josepha Estrada?:His stomach is really big.
How about Angel Locsin?:Her face looks too small.
Your alter ego's name is: Kokey
Dedication: World Peace.
Any Last Words?: Rrrawwrr.
We're Just Friends...ter
Yahoo Me, Yahoo You
Allan Habon
Riley Palanca
Aio Arzadon
Cess Carlos
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Very Bad Haikus and Very Bad Quest for Sobriety
Let's Blog in Haiku Form:
I went to a bar
Red lights, smell of alcohol
I got drunk and danced
I think something is wrong with unemotional, blank haikus. And I think syllabication restrictions are just...downright restrictive on the artistic aspect. But who cares, I'm just practicing haiku-writing for my MPs 10 class, probably the only class I will be enjoying for this sem. Followed by Philippine Folk Dancing, since I'm having this renewed sense of nationalism and since I feel that Polka sa Nayon is for me. Ew.
I got really drunk last night. Thank God. I've been too sober for so long already ever since my emo i'll-drink-myself-to-sleep-inside-my-dorm-room nights. Yey.
I'm getting bored of writing. I think this is the effect of marathon accounting problems and a bad brain for numbers.
God, save me.
---
I did something terribly wrong last Friday afternoon. And in an effort to mitigate whatever wrongness it has caused, I made another mistake again. Isn't that kinda...poetic.
I'm not running around for the 'thrill'. Honestly, I'm not.
I'm just...shy. LOL
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Monday, November 24, 2008
Chuck and Luck
I have a dilemma.
Read 'inferno" for my English 12 class.
OR
Read Chapters 14-15 of my accounting text book.
OR
Finish 'Chuck' season 2 up to 3 in the morning.
I go for Chuck. Since it rhymes with, err, luck.
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(0) choo choo Not Fun Anymore
I think this is the last time I will post a disturbingly emo blog entry.
Yes, I myself am getting tired of all the mushy drama about love or more appropriately, the illusion of it. LOL
Like what I have told people who know this issue, thins are just too 'unfounded'.
And yes, because I choose to be happy and merry and happy again, I choose to end this all.
The drama isn't fun anymore. So, back to my old, comfortably dull life.
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Saturday, November 22, 2008
I Thought
Last night was full of realizations, both solicited and unsolicited.
Screw life dramas. And screw the losers of the world.
I'll just go on living my life.
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Thursday, November 20, 2008
Nobody Knows
I don't think 'moving on' is even a valid option.
It couldn't even actuate itself. Though I couldn't even say the idea of it exists in the first place.
But the virtual suspense kills me. Lol.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Before it ends
i don't want to worry that this could be over before it could finally start.
and so i sit here and type.
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Saturday, November 15, 2008
Irony of Mall Sales
I hate how Trinoma and SM North Edsa are biting each others' asses off with their three day sales. It jams the traffic in our area in a really horrible way. It takes 20 minutes for me to reach our apartment from SM Cyberzone. Any normal day will give me a mere 5 minute ride. I hate these sale-obsessed shoppers. If they think shopping is so symbolic of affluency, then why the hell are they drooling over reduced market prices. And they're even audacious enough to bring along their cars, natratraffic tuloy kami. Kainis.
Anywaaaay, mall sales aren't really the highlight of my day. Since it's a weekend, I'm supposed to rant about my wonderful first week of classes.
But I realize that, well, it's not wonderful at all. How ironic.
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Friday, November 07, 2008
Why we hate, and why we try to deny our hatred
Everyone's talking about their first day. First day seeing bitchy professors. First day talking to the girl or guy or gay guy at your right. First day realizing that the sem could be a blast, or a bore, or another punitive imposition of a stagnant education system.
My first day is too fuzzy. It's so blurry that it feels unlike any of the first days I had ever since I was in Nursery.
There was no feeling of excitement. Nothing to look forward to. I couldn't even get nervous or feel jittery. Because I didn't care. I was too preoccupied with things.
I want to ask myself what I am getting myself into. This isn't how I kick off the sem. Ever since I got into UP, I always spend my first days sitting on worn out chairs for hours, listening to background conversations, staring at the door while betting on another prof no-show. But today I didn't even bother going to my classes.
Because I slept at five in the morning and woke up at 10, near noon. I missed my major subject, and Ralph told me the professor had us arranged alphabetically. And my seat was vacant, he told me. I was one of the two audacious BA students who did not show up at the first day of BA 181. But I feel like I don't care. What the hell is wrong with me.
I did not attend a single class. And I did not even attempt to check if my profs were eager enough to display their intellectual brouhahas at the first day.
I lined up at PNB to get things done. I stood at the line for three hours, listening to Jason Mraz go emo over my earphones, reading Third Bagro's thoughts on UP forum, staring at the UP law dude in front of me who puffed Marlboro every minute without any blink or fudging. I didn't even shake my knees while thinking of the classes I have missed. What is wrong with me.
Let me tell you how I spent my first day.
I stayed in School of Stat for hours. Only leaving to buy Globe load, or eat at SC, or get some breath of fresh air because the faculty room atmosphere nearly killed me. No, the waiting suffocated me, the injustice irked me, the system almost made me cry. Again. Or for the last time. I pray to God, never again please.
I waited for my professor to come. To grab that freaking knob and make herself appear before me. I wanted to ask her what will become of my grade now, now that I discovered, after she had posted it on the CRS already, that she recorded my 96.15% grade in an exam as 70.513%.
I texted her two hours ago, while I was scouring through Toy Kingdom's shelves, sucking in all the fun and nostalgia I could get from the toys I was never able to buy as a child. I texted her while I made myself happy, after a day plunged into what-could-bes and perspective morphism. She told me I should have known better and inquired before, that I should have known better and checked her Gmail group which I was not a part of. She told me I should have been reminded. But I wasn't. And I feel really sorry, and really pathetic, thinking that I have my efforts flushed down.
It feels like rejection. It's like a work of art spat on, burned down, unrecognized. A sweet, fought-for piece of trash. It feels like me rebuilding things, questioning things, dreaming of things I could never have. Because the system says so.
God knows I want this semester to be so beautiful that it can make me cry with its nearly perfect beauty. If beauty means me loving what the system tries to feed me. If beauty means me laughing at the end of the day, because I learned what I wanted to learn.
God knows I really want that to happen. God knows I don't want this pre-sem inconvenience to put a stain on my magnificent academic master plan. God knows I want to overcome thoughts that push me down.
I will make this semester beautiful. But the circumstance seems to mock me, ridicule me, discourage me. And all I could do is to call on friends and convince them that Java Chip Frapuccino can make me really happy.
I want to see what's good in this deep shit.
I want to do that. I want to channel Rhonda Byrne's 'The Secret'.
Screw CS standing, screw erratic grade recording, screw motivational incapacity, screw 'starting-it-with-the-wrong-foot'.
I don't know what kind of irrationality will back this kind of persistence. But I swear to God that if another messed up universal handwork messes with my mindset again, I will bitch-slap that thing until it disappears from memory.
Meaning, *happy thoughts*, *happy thoughts*.
Things will be perfectly fine.
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Thursday, November 06, 2008
Love of Enrolment
It's seven in the morning and I haven't slept yet.
OMG.
Love of Siam disappoints me. I need to watch it again continuously, ie without YouTube's lousy split up version.
Gusto ko kunwari na absorb ko yung story pero parang hindi talaga. Bwiset.
Makaligo na nga at maka-enrol.
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Sunday, November 02, 2008
Okay ba kung mag 15 units lang ako?
I am thinking of having only 15 units for this semester. I don't know, I just think I can afford that kind of convenience right now. Although my father is totally against it, I'm still seriously considering scrapping one subject off, I'm sure he won''t know. LOL
I want a lighter load because:
1) I want a part-time job. Since I'm already 18, I want a higher level of responsibility, ie earning for myself, getting stressed out because that's what the contracts asks for, etc. School work has a value, of course, but I'm free now, I want to discover more avenues for personal growth (naks). I've been going in and out of the school for 18 years now, I want to look for something supplemental to what i'm learning from the academe.
2) I want to devote more time for org works and org demands. Like what Jacques kept on blabbering on his blog, I want to exert more effort in debate training. As much as Alistair likes to keep painting a positive outlook on our academic life next year, I fear that I really have to get myself stuck on CBA's demands come junior standing. That is why I'm thinking of ways to compensate for this trade-off my giving more time to something I really love doing-debating. As of now, with 18 units, I would be able to go home not later than 2:30 everyday. I think that would be enough for training.
However, I also want to take an active role as print editor-slash-writer for Networx, the newsletter of Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants, one of my three beloved orgs. LOL. I really miss writing. I gave up leisure writing once I started doing journals, ledgers, and whaever-accounting-stuff everyday for the last four months. I feel burnt out, artistically. I see Networx as one of my few remaining outlets, and I really want to function in JPIA. You see, the drive and motivation within the org is just too contagious. Tipong mahihiya ka kung hindi ka that productive.
Finally, even if I've been such a lazy ass ever since induction, I want to be more visible in Bannuar (my first org in UP). I know I can't be really that involved and active, sorry for that, but at the very least, I don't want to be left out when it comes to bonding times or bumming-around moments. Like what they often say, Bannuar is more of a friendship-clique-whatever than your typical org. So, there.
3) I think it's about time I move out of the classroom and interact more with the world, or at the very least, with UP culture.
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