i bought The Story of Philosophy last Thursday, so as of this writing, I have been reading it for four days actually, yet I am only on page 226 out of 568 pages of the deepest thoughts in human history. i could not even picture myself, an incoming fourth year student of a public high school in Tabaco to be immersed too much on matters which my generation would just laugh at. who would bother reading voltaire if they can watch mtv, who would bother reading kant if they can just imitate naruto, who would bother appreciating spinoza if they can watch the teen housemates fight off lunacy in an autocratic household. this is one of the few things that make me hold on, actually, wisdom, i am not the type who is drawn into obsession, but i appreciate deeply that i am unconsciously tied with the everything of its essence. i love reading, especially if my being withers down into dormancy, that is when i would most likely seek sanctuary within the seclusion of books. but on times when i would rather contemplate on life itself, i curse the pages, because i prefer to look existence into its very eye. so right now, apparently i am taking a break from the haunting thought of our greatest philosophers and thinking of how i could utilize them in making my life meaningful. if only every second i can seize them within my consciousness, i will never ever be affected again by the harsh frivolities of the time. if only i have them by heart in a permanent state, i can oppose the fallacy of humanity with a humbling valor. but i just cant, for our times is so much different from the laid back, blossoming era of kant, or spinoza, or voltaire. ours is a time when almost all have been sucked into the vortex of technological fanaticism, everyone has been blinded by a concept of neo-convenience, convenioence from the machines. so, nobody bothers delving into the vastness of pure human thought, people are flocking the virtual world where human pleasures are but magnified, emphasized and adorned. men would rather see violence, lust, greed and power than be involved within the never ending debates on the existence of god, the nature of morality, of intellect, of law and the metaphysics of everything. it saddens me that i feel i am a part of the few who are courageous enough to defy the flow of the time and seek happinness from the pursuit for knowledge. it was not really a choice, for i never did consider to be blinded by the facility of everything, i always wanted to immerse myself into the complexity of philosophy, because the rewards are much much more fulfilling. i do not seek blessedness from the generation of thought, but mere thinking is the light from which i could derive so much joy. i hope the path i have taken, at least for this short summer, will lead me to an even more massive road that shall lead me to the ultimacy of the beliefs i have put my faith into. i wish for no regrets, honestly, but i so much seek to make myself a whole, in spite of the saddening diversities of our present world.