two very important things happened today:

1) i ate a lot at burger king

2) i gave 40 pesos to the needy

this is the story behind my very grave, humanitarian-kind of depression.

i went to UP chapel to hear mass. that meant i had to ride two jeepneys and endure the 40-minute ride, which is plainly horrendous. and so i arrived there and listened to mr.priest who kept blabbering stuffs about doing good and not being bad. then i went to SM and ate at burger king.

sadness. you see, i have been craving for the whoaper burgers lately, and so since my gastronomic conscience is uber greedy and i am just bad, according to mr.priest, i ordered the whoaper meal go large [the remains of which are shown in the photo].

not being satiated, when i was walking to the traysi paradahan, i dropped by McDonald's and bought an oreo sundae, then licked it, canoodled it, and swallowed it with such blind passion. [how..vivid]

and so when all was well and done and when i was ravaging anything left on the sundae as i stood by the traysi queue, i saw a lola standing by the sideway, she had her eyes shut, she looked tired, and she struggled at keeping her hands extended for whatever alms might be given to her.

inside me i asked, why was she there, why now, it's new year, shouldn't she be home cooking pansit? i felt sad, and i feel bad even up to now. i just feel cheated. the world is really unfair, nobody deserves that.

and so i reached for whatever was left of my cash and i gave it to lola. the people lining up for the traysi may have noticed me, and one by one, almost all of them approached lola and gave coins, any amount. perhaps they asked that same question: why was she there, on a night like this.

i still feel depressed. where will lola go home to. i shouldn't have eaten like a glutton and gave all my money to her, for their noche buena.

i'm humanitarian-ish, charitable-ish sad. depressing.