I should be whining right now, depressed because I got a flat one in a subject which, I thought, would usher in my much-awaited academic career in philosophy. But I am placated, I am tired, I am in still awe of my Indiana Jones movie experience.

So I thank Professor Valero, for whatever reason he deemed enough to give this psychology freshman an uno in an elective he technically was not yet allowed to take, but he did, because he's such an impatient ass of this earth. I took Philo 120, Philosophical Reasoning, because I was anxious I'd get delayed once I was able to shift to Philo. And also, I wanted to know what it's like in a UP Philosophy class. And so after some weeks, three papers, loads of discussions and dried hairwax and dusty Katips ride, I have my grade now. But it's such an ambivalent celebration.

I just want this uno to mean much more. More than a clean line on the transcript. More than the highest grade. More than effort. I thought it would mean a life in analysis, in intellectual creativity, in days and mornings of argumentations, reasoning, logic. But now it means dreams gone and a life for something bigger. But I don't know, I still want to hold on to whatever I thought that uno would be. Perhaps looking back, I know I've learned, and I know I knew what I wanted in life. But like what I have said, life isn't as simple as wanting something and getting it.
+++
On a lighter note, I feel relieved that my CW 10 prof wasn't a total b*tch. Now I love her. I think I really, really LOVE her. LoL. I really thought she would give me a grade of 2 below, because during the workshop, she made me feel like a hollow-brained idiot who just happens to know how to write letters. But I guess she still pities me. Thank God for the concept of pity. Mabuhay si Mam!