super psycho(n.) an immensely disturbed individual who is obsessed with ranting, whining, and blabbering about his life. severely unstable and emotionally undefined, a super psycho should always be dealt with at a distance greater than 50 feet and, with some few doses of aspirin.
WHO THE HELL IS SUPER PSYCHO?
Name:Empermeen Mallawee
Nickname:Elp, Elf, Elfer, Elper, Emper, Empermeen, Buknoy, Boknoy, Bok, Mallawee
Age: I am 15. And I mean it.
Address: Honestly?
Favorite Color: Green, Orange
Favorite Food: Rodic's Jumbosilog
Motto in Life: Abolish our selves.
Favorite High School Subject: Biology
Most Hated High School Subject: Values Education
Most Unforgettable Experience: When I abolished my self.
Most Embarrassing Experience: When I abolished my self.
Who is your Crush: My self.
Do you think autograph questions are dumb?: Super.
So why are you answering this?: Why do you care.
Ambition in Life: To be a Super star.
What is Love: Love is what you say when 'horny' doesn't sound right.
If you were a deodorant scent, what would you be?: Natural Scent.
Your film biopic's title would be: E-pal
One word that best describes you: Magnificent.
What can you say about PGMA?: She has a mole on her face.
How about Josepha Estrada?:His stomach is really big.
How about Angel Locsin?:Her face looks too small.
Your alter ego's name is: Kokey
Dedication: World Peace.
Any Last Words?: Rrrawwrr.I'M EVERYWHERE!
We're Just Friends...ter
Yahoo Me, Yahoo You
GIMME MORE! MORE...BLOGS
Allan Habon
Riley Palanca
Aio Arzadon
Cess Carlos
Leya Sumbeling MY FANS SAY THAT...
A HISTORY OF PSYCHOSIS
Nickname:Elp, Elf, Elfer, Elper, Emper, Empermeen, Buknoy, Boknoy, Bok, Mallawee
Age: I am 15. And I mean it.
Address: Honestly?
Favorite Color: Green, Orange
Favorite Food: Rodic's Jumbosilog
Motto in Life: Abolish our selves.
Favorite High School Subject: Biology
Most Hated High School Subject: Values Education
Most Unforgettable Experience: When I abolished my self.
Most Embarrassing Experience: When I abolished my self.
Who is your Crush: My self.
Do you think autograph questions are dumb?: Super.
So why are you answering this?: Why do you care.
Ambition in Life: To be a Super star.
What is Love: Love is what you say when 'horny' doesn't sound right.
If you were a deodorant scent, what would you be?: Natural Scent.
Your film biopic's title would be: E-pal
One word that best describes you: Magnificent.
What can you say about PGMA?: She has a mole on her face.
How about Josepha Estrada?:His stomach is really big.
How about Angel Locsin?:Her face looks too small.
Your alter ego's name is: Kokey
Dedication: World Peace.
Any Last Words?: Rrrawwrr.
We're Just Friends...ter
Yahoo Me, Yahoo You
Allan Habon
Riley Palanca
Aio Arzadon
Cess Carlos
Friday, August 25, 2006
Faking some Happiness:
inject me some joy
i.unusually blank
i'm feeling a little bit happy (or numb,technically) today. that's why i'm starting off with a relatively optimistic title like" faking some happiness." yes, that is "relatively" happy because if i am siad right tihis very moment i would have used the word "fuck" from the beginning up to this very letter you are processing inside your brain.plus the period. so, there really is nothing to talk about today, but since i went home a bit early i thought of posting some blog, guilty of the fact that i have postponed doing such a lot of times due to some horrifying situations. blame me becuase i don't have my own computer. well, technically i have one right inside my room, but it doesn't have a moded, a disc drive or a printer, so its practically useless. too bad it has to rob me off of space inside my room. see, i'm so happy.
i. they come rushing in
right now i am actually able to remember what happened in marikina, talk about temporary amnesia. it's just that things were too grave for my consciousness. i was dead tired and i couldn't look at everything with a comprehension decent enough to understand. really tired. these things are the only ones i can remember, and i am postin gthem so i would never forget them in the future, unless blogger breaks down its system:
ii.mall of saliva
i went to sm mall of asia with (friend).it was fun riding jeepneys again on the way to sm north edsa. and even better riding in one of those fx cabs that took me to manila, while i sat silent at the back reading the gnostic gospels, and occasionally peeked outside with devilish desires(?)so friend and i met in robinson's ermita. it was hell.not quite. it felt like a thousand schools had a field trip inside rob. i had to pass through a swarm of those pesky kids to get through the path ways. and its dizzyin gbecause each had some scandalous perfumes that pierced my nostrils. even when friend and i were doing that touch screen thing with matching spot the difference thingy (or something like that), they were like howling urban wolves. or some underdeveloped hoodlums and baby prostitutes. now i know why it sucks to be in a public school in an urban mess like manila. so after that friend and i rode a jeep to mall of asia. we stopped about a kilometer away since we already saw that globe thing prominent in the city sky. so as we walked towards the beckoning facade we talked about things. like super NOT feasible projects, things, things, oh shit that is as far as i can remember. i love fully booked. i sat on the floor and slept there like hell, not true, it's just,err, lovable. i love the architechture, or some parts of it. duh, we circled moa in about three hours. we even ate lunch in between.
my coke spilled on my bag. and it felt funny with carbon sizzling on your lap. damn the small tables. i love belgian fries. they're bigger than french.(what?!)it was nice meeting friend again. i could never talk to anyone like the way i can talk about things with friend. friend and i share almost the same wavelength, though friend has troughs on my crest or vice versa at times. it just felt nice that somebody would care to listen. and with the matching background, (nice view of the exterior pf moa, windy afternoon, a tiled skyway overlooking macapagal avenue and some sticky humid air) i was able to say things, sensible or trashy, things that i kept to myself for the last three months staying dormant there in tnhs. my classmates, please grow up, or find the error in your ways, or just disappear!haha. or i'd be the one to disappear. it doesn't matter. why can't you see we break ourselves apart. it shouldn't be like this if you never succumbed to greed or glory. get me out of here.shit.
i love life on certain seconds. seconds when i'm lucky enough to forget horrible things. right now i've forgotten them because my responsibilities crashed so overwhelmingly in front of my face. anyway i fele like i can live through somehow. i know i can get through this with pain perhaps, but at least surviving.just keep the rope and the cutter away from my sight.
oh world save me from this living hell.
the day will come.
gnothi seauton.
i. they come rushing in
right now i am actually able to remember what happened in marikina, talk about temporary amnesia. it's just that things were too grave for my consciousness. i was dead tired and i couldn't look at everything with a comprehension decent enough to understand. really tired. these things are the only ones i can remember, and i am postin gthem so i would never forget them in the future, unless blogger breaks down its system:
- we rode in cagsawa bus. and my teacher smelled of (eewy, gross out) liquor, or something so foul it kept me awake all night.
- we ate in tropical hut the morning we arrived in concepcio marikina. and i remember how sticky the tiles were when we entered. like some vomit spread out on the floor, they were a bit clingy on the shoe.
- there was no salt in the egg. that is probably the greatest culinary sin you can ever commit, not putting salt in the egg. even i would never ever ever forget to put a pinch of salt in my egg you morons!!
- marikina has red sidewalks. yeah right.whatever.
- we had aircon in our quarters. it made me think what could have been the feeling if i joined the ASEAN quiz. it could have been the first time i could sleep (and snore) inside a five star hotel. hey, its not my fault if im damn too young for the world.haha..
- jovel looks like a spirit wandering the earth.hehehe.peace. because she's sooo flashy. mitsui talks A LOT, hehehe. but its nice because it felt like we had an fm radio inside the room.
- its fun to make fun,err?, of the education supervisor of our division. yeah, ia m such an evil jester. i didn't even spare the es from the wrath of my intellectual jokes.haha.but hey, at least nilibre ako ng pizza.tnx mam.
- i felt old. the old teachers laughed at my jokes. nobody laughs at my jokes. well, my classmates don't. because they're soo devoid of humor.
- i'm the top scorer in the quiz round. with somebody sharing mY(hehe) top spot with her. yeah right. in the end it didn't even matter.
- i got through top ten in the essay round. beat that peregrino, you canine faggot.i'll kill you one day.
- i messes up the talumpati because i talked too much with my new found friends an hour before. duh, it was 5 and its the time when everyone else sleeps except dudes smoking marijuana. so i felt really reaaaally lazy, there wasn't effort. honestly,hehe. believe me!!
- i loved the foods. it was a cornucopia of chow!!
- there were japenese dudes in the separate building.whaatdafuck.
- i hate the shoe souvenirs. get a life and make your minds think! i'd rather wear a shoe than put it in my bag's zipper!
ii.mall of saliva
i went to sm mall of asia with (friend).it was fun riding jeepneys again on the way to sm north edsa. and even better riding in one of those fx cabs that took me to manila, while i sat silent at the back reading the gnostic gospels, and occasionally peeked outside with devilish desires(?)so friend and i met in robinson's ermita. it was hell.not quite. it felt like a thousand schools had a field trip inside rob. i had to pass through a swarm of those pesky kids to get through the path ways. and its dizzyin gbecause each had some scandalous perfumes that pierced my nostrils. even when friend and i were doing that touch screen thing with matching spot the difference thingy (or something like that), they were like howling urban wolves. or some underdeveloped hoodlums and baby prostitutes. now i know why it sucks to be in a public school in an urban mess like manila. so after that friend and i rode a jeep to mall of asia. we stopped about a kilometer away since we already saw that globe thing prominent in the city sky. so as we walked towards the beckoning facade we talked about things. like super NOT feasible projects, things, things, oh shit that is as far as i can remember. i love fully booked. i sat on the floor and slept there like hell, not true, it's just,err, lovable. i love the architechture, or some parts of it. duh, we circled moa in about three hours. we even ate lunch in between.
my coke spilled on my bag. and it felt funny with carbon sizzling on your lap. damn the small tables. i love belgian fries. they're bigger than french.(what?!)it was nice meeting friend again. i could never talk to anyone like the way i can talk about things with friend. friend and i share almost the same wavelength, though friend has troughs on my crest or vice versa at times. it just felt nice that somebody would care to listen. and with the matching background, (nice view of the exterior pf moa, windy afternoon, a tiled skyway overlooking macapagal avenue and some sticky humid air) i was able to say things, sensible or trashy, things that i kept to myself for the last three months staying dormant there in tnhs. my classmates, please grow up, or find the error in your ways, or just disappear!haha. or i'd be the one to disappear. it doesn't matter. why can't you see we break ourselves apart. it shouldn't be like this if you never succumbed to greed or glory. get me out of here.shit.
i love life on certain seconds. seconds when i'm lucky enough to forget horrible things. right now i've forgotten them because my responsibilities crashed so overwhelmingly in front of my face. anyway i fele like i can live through somehow. i know i can get through this with pain perhaps, but at least surviving.just keep the rope and the cutter away from my sight.
oh world save me from this living hell.
the day will come.
gnothi seauton.
Labels: Contests, Depression, Friends, Love
Posted by
(0) choo choo
Monday, August 21, 2006
Death of Stars:
shine and fade away
shine and fade away
yesterday i found the meaning of happiness. something that i had been searching for for the last few years of my life. blame it to adolescence, or pain, or the overwhelming feeling of deceit. but from where i stand now, everything else is like a speck of worthlessnes as they lay close to the new meaning of my joy. and i thought it would stay that way for quite a time, at least, until i open my eyes again to the unyielding truths of living. and now, my meaning of happiness had been lost again. and i don't know where to start looking for it. it just slipped away. i'll be waiting. i don't know. you never told me anything to which i can hold on.
ii. burst of desire
i hate connections. i hate forging social hoolas just to make my life secure. i have always been relying to reality, and the truth, to give my life even the slightest sense of meaning. i never believed in faking things, or perverting reality, just so we can create our own world that opposes the universe that lies in front of us. i don't know why i am saying these things, even though they have rather distant connections to what i have been keeping inside lately. perhaps this is the curse of sadness, you are immersed to much on the failure of your desire.my desires, are gone.
we live to know. and we breathe to exist. and we may never know what will happen until these things come. that is why i wonder how you could say such things definitively, if you never opened up a room for anything. i held a proposition, something so rare. and i never thought somebody could find it so horrible, so worthless. my life may be so unhappy, but i still breathe to give it joy. and i tried to give it even the faintest flicker of meaning through you. but what i get are denials, the stinging wrath of failures. but i won't give up, what just sucks is that as long as you close your mind you will never open yourself up for other thoughts, my thoughts. and as long as you believe too much on your predictions, your life will never see the dawn of newer things. it hurts that somebody can end my battle in silence. the nothingness of a fearing silence. i never stood up for my desires, i just let them come and go. and now that i sucked in all the courage i can have, the struggle of my belief just came crashing towards me. i am not forcing you. what i mean is just to let things be so, and never put an end to things that had never even started yet. another chance and i wont blow it up.
i feel too pissed off to talk about the things i wanted to say. maybe next time.
we desire things not because they give us joy. they give us joy because we desire them.
i don't know. i'll just wait.wait with me, pls.
ii. burst of desire
i hate connections. i hate forging social hoolas just to make my life secure. i have always been relying to reality, and the truth, to give my life even the slightest sense of meaning. i never believed in faking things, or perverting reality, just so we can create our own world that opposes the universe that lies in front of us. i don't know why i am saying these things, even though they have rather distant connections to what i have been keeping inside lately. perhaps this is the curse of sadness, you are immersed to much on the failure of your desire.my desires, are gone.
we live to know. and we breathe to exist. and we may never know what will happen until these things come. that is why i wonder how you could say such things definitively, if you never opened up a room for anything. i held a proposition, something so rare. and i never thought somebody could find it so horrible, so worthless. my life may be so unhappy, but i still breathe to give it joy. and i tried to give it even the faintest flicker of meaning through you. but what i get are denials, the stinging wrath of failures. but i won't give up, what just sucks is that as long as you close your mind you will never open yourself up for other thoughts, my thoughts. and as long as you believe too much on your predictions, your life will never see the dawn of newer things. it hurts that somebody can end my battle in silence. the nothingness of a fearing silence. i never stood up for my desires, i just let them come and go. and now that i sucked in all the courage i can have, the struggle of my belief just came crashing towards me. i am not forcing you. what i mean is just to let things be so, and never put an end to things that had never even started yet. another chance and i wont blow it up.
i feel too pissed off to talk about the things i wanted to say. maybe next time.
we desire things not because they give us joy. they give us joy because we desire them.
i don't know. i'll just wait.wait with me, pls.
Labels: Depression, Love
Posted by
(14) choo choo
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Here, in Tabaco:
living to die
i. concrete alleyways
about ten minutes ago, i was clutching a book in one hand, reading mindlessly, as i drifted along Tabaco's wet, and mossy street ways. it's tuesday, and that means one of the very few occasion when we are spared from ten straight classes each day. perhaps i and my classmates, or the rest of my school, are the only ones benefited in a great deal by Mayon's looming eruption. due to the influx of evacuees settling in the classrooms, the schedule was shifted such that 4th and 2nd years have to go to school in an MWF basis and the 1st and 3rd years, at TTh. so that is why i was there, in T.Cabiles, unmindful of obstructions that could suddenly bang me in the head, i just read, and read, and i never noticed how cold the drizzle was, or how unusually smoggy it was in that obscure, lonely alley. ooohh, how melodramatic.
ii. unkept sayonaras
it feels odd blogging on a tuesday, especially if i have two of my classmates here frantically typing our book report for tomorrow. while i, the unknowing i, wouldn't even give the slightest budge. i don't know why english and i had been getting a little shaky for the past few months. you see, since grade 1, or even nursery for Christ's sake, i never had a grade lower thatn 95 in english. and its rather appalling to see the e-i-c of a multiawarded schoolpaper getting a low mark in the LANGUAGE THAT HE HAS BEEN USING IN SPEAKING AND WRITING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS OF HIS LIFE!!!oh that's quite an exaggeration, but the point is, if you want to get quality outputs, you might as well dish in some quality inputs.right. don't just trash out some crappy stuff then wish that your students woulld rival the fierceness of Virginia Woolf and Edgar Allan Poe, plus, a bonus British classy twang. you will never get an education from somebody who doesn't value the worth of learning.
iii. speeding through bilingualism
in about two hours from now, i'll be off to Marikina for the National Tagisan ng Talino sa Wika at Panitikan. i'm not really excited since, shit, its flooded in Manila and that is exactly where i will be going. and right now i could almost imagine plastic trash and some excrements clinging to my legs like some hormonal adolescents in heat. shit. that's quite vivid. anyway, i have been prepping up myself for this competition, i had read some books, not that much actually. and it makes me feel like i'm not prepared enough, oh shit now i feel like jumping out the window beside me. i don't know if i got what it takes to get through this competition, i never won an individual contest in the national plane. and thinking about such grand thought, i couldn't help but degrade myself and my abilities. i may be good, but i had always felt that i had never been good enough. and great things for me, meant things that i had toiled for and had grown into things through sheer luck. perhaps i am not really destined for gretaness at this point in my life, but still i feel contented knowing that i had sought to know the things which i believed, are the pillars of human truth. yeah right, whatever.
iii. ad hominem, ad populi
this kind of stuck into my head lately, these are what we refer to as rhethorical errors, and i feel so lazy to actually expound on them. there has been this feeling of utter pain that has been corrupting me lately. i couldn't smile because everything makes me pissed off, i couldn't laugh because my world was devoid of humor, i couldn't mess around, because my world was barren of freedom. they say its better staying in tabaco, because it is home. but i believe home is never the place that you are supposed to be, though you don't want to. home is simply the place that will seclude you from the pain that keeps you from being contented with who you are. and tabaco, instead of secluding me from corruptive pain, flares it up to a fire that has burnt my being into worthless, worthless, ashes.
i wish for a life that never asks.
not because it was told not to ask for anything.
but simply because
it has
its
own sense of satisfaction.
profound satisfaction.
a life
i wish
profound satisfaction
a wish
a life
to live
ii. unkept sayonaras
it feels odd blogging on a tuesday, especially if i have two of my classmates here frantically typing our book report for tomorrow. while i, the unknowing i, wouldn't even give the slightest budge. i don't know why english and i had been getting a little shaky for the past few months. you see, since grade 1, or even nursery for Christ's sake, i never had a grade lower thatn 95 in english. and its rather appalling to see the e-i-c of a multiawarded schoolpaper getting a low mark in the LANGUAGE THAT HE HAS BEEN USING IN SPEAKING AND WRITING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS OF HIS LIFE!!!oh that's quite an exaggeration, but the point is, if you want to get quality outputs, you might as well dish in some quality inputs.right. don't just trash out some crappy stuff then wish that your students woulld rival the fierceness of Virginia Woolf and Edgar Allan Poe, plus, a bonus British classy twang. you will never get an education from somebody who doesn't value the worth of learning.
iii. speeding through bilingualism
in about two hours from now, i'll be off to Marikina for the National Tagisan ng Talino sa Wika at Panitikan. i'm not really excited since, shit, its flooded in Manila and that is exactly where i will be going. and right now i could almost imagine plastic trash and some excrements clinging to my legs like some hormonal adolescents in heat. shit. that's quite vivid. anyway, i have been prepping up myself for this competition, i had read some books, not that much actually. and it makes me feel like i'm not prepared enough, oh shit now i feel like jumping out the window beside me. i don't know if i got what it takes to get through this competition, i never won an individual contest in the national plane. and thinking about such grand thought, i couldn't help but degrade myself and my abilities. i may be good, but i had always felt that i had never been good enough. and great things for me, meant things that i had toiled for and had grown into things through sheer luck. perhaps i am not really destined for gretaness at this point in my life, but still i feel contented knowing that i had sought to know the things which i believed, are the pillars of human truth. yeah right, whatever.
iii. ad hominem, ad populi
this kind of stuck into my head lately, these are what we refer to as rhethorical errors, and i feel so lazy to actually expound on them. there has been this feeling of utter pain that has been corrupting me lately. i couldn't smile because everything makes me pissed off, i couldn't laugh because my world was devoid of humor, i couldn't mess around, because my world was barren of freedom. they say its better staying in tabaco, because it is home. but i believe home is never the place that you are supposed to be, though you don't want to. home is simply the place that will seclude you from the pain that keeps you from being contented with who you are. and tabaco, instead of secluding me from corruptive pain, flares it up to a fire that has burnt my being into worthless, worthless, ashes.
i wish for a life that never asks.
not because it was told not to ask for anything.
but simply because
it has
its
own sense of satisfaction.
profound satisfaction.
a life
i wish
profound satisfaction
a wish
a life
to live
Labels: Contests, Depression, IV-Einstein
Posted by
(1) choo choo
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Horoscope Nights:
sounds like "scorpio nights"
i. the crystal crap
last tuesday (or was it monday), i caught a glimpse of the rather obscured portion of the philippine daily inquirer (the only newspaper that i read) tan dandanda---the horoscope. it was written by this woman i never bothered knowing because from the looks of it (her colonial sounding name) she's a white(and i hate whites, particularly george bush). hey, where is this post going anyway? so, as i ran my (sleepy) eyes on the grey sheet of paper that smelled oddly of (organic) ink, i read this portion (since i wasn't able to memorize the whole paragraph, and no, i don't have a "memoria fotografica" semi-fotografica perhaps, or maybe i do, maybe not, shit, i don't even know the difference!!what is wrong with this post!): "this month (august) you will feel very tired most of the time. try to overtake the world and heckle gloria macapgal arroyo when she visits the evacuees at tabaco national high school.okay, so the 2nd sentence just jumped off my brain.but gma will really visit our school(for p.r, most probably). and ODDLY enough the horoscope is true. i feel really tired. dead tired.
ii. my infatuation with (the world)
last thursday (august something), i joined the annual (and unending) tagisan ng talino sa wika at panitikan, division level. so prior to that (poorly organized) event, i had too bury my (cute,wahaha) face on bulks and piles of old, smelly books on the works and crafts of the country's best writers. i learned what vocabulario dela lengua tagala meant, and the great difference between pupdoh and dimasalang. but besides the quiz which is relatively more convenient (a chalk and a cardboard, how convenient can it get) i had to write an interpretative essay and, dig this, extemporaneous speech, in filipino. though that isn't really so shocking, heck, what is so shocking with blabbering things in our lingua franca?it's just that, nothing actually. it's not the whole point of this paragraph. the point is, the horoscope is real (and why can't i shake off the surprise?!!). and on the sunday after, was the most important examination of my life, the university of the philippines college admission test. and i need another paragraph to talk about that.
iii.poop cat, poop cat and endorphines
after the contest, we had this (sadist-made long test in english) then the saturday after i had to cram, kill myself, waste my life and rot my soul in studying four years worth of academic knowledge in 15 hours. though i like doing things under pressure, the fact that i didn't give myself a break was rather stupid of me (as a living, breathing human being).fuck, what the hell am i saying, my limewire video updates are interrupting the flow of my thought!!so, the day after (sunday morning), i had to wake up at 4:30am, clean myself, fill myself and hopped in a friend's car that took us in bicol university arcilla hall, college of social science and philosophy. i was abit late so they had to pick me up, which was quite embarassing(though i no longer feel embarassed on aything). the upcat was, well, efficient.stupid description. yes, the upcat was indeed efficient because i felt that the questions really wanted to know how far my intellect can reach. like, arranging sentences, arranging words, or, how about this, knowing how an angle measures in a stupid, damn trapezoid. what good is in a trapezoid anyway?!! i have never ever eaten a trapezoid bread, i have never ever seen a trapezoid rice, i have never even seen a trapezoid bill or a trapezoid coin or a fucking trapezoid house!so why bother my life with knowing what the measures of a trapezoidal angles are!!damn you! so anyway, shit, these people are so noisy, so unappreciative of intellectual expression. the upcat was overall fine, fun, and even worthy of...err..fun. when the upcat was over, i was actually so happy. so upbeat, i loved it. not because it was such a breeze, but because i didn't have to curse myslef (like what happened during the 2nd screeing at pisay).in short, i didn't feel stupid, because i am not.hahaha.at least i never said anything so boastfully delusioned or egotistically perverted or even centrically derailed such as "parang long test" whatever, psycho. my course has a higher quota than yours, psycho.and so, i pray, and pray and pray, that i get in the intarmed program. and if i don't then i read this post in the future, 1st floor or 8th floor, i will jump out the window.
iv. janitor fish dreams
i am getting headaches. this blog site has the lousiest font control buttons that i had ever seen. so, it has been about 10 minutes after i typed the subtitle just above because i peeked at jiki's friendster profile. he is as demented as before and sounded dehydrated. who wouldn't get dehydrated of thought if your in a school like L- S----!!anyway, i won again in the regional level of tagisan ng talino sa wika at panitikan. and good thing that it had a cash prize, some 1500 worth of gift certificate at Gaisano Mall (hey, that is cash because cash is anything used for exchange and accepted by a bank at face value, well, this would not be accepted by any bank, obviously). it made me think about what our school principal told me, that i was already financing myself. because a month ago i also won in a contest with some hefty cash prize.again, my horoscope was correct, because i read that this year would be a financially productive year. so, after winning in the region, and after taking the periodic test (which i toiled for, to which i sacrificed minutes and hours of sleep, for which i ate dozens of chocolates to keep my brain pumping, for which i drank 6 cups of caffeine,,damn the world!!!) now, i have to pack my bags and head off to marikina, where the national will be. oh shit it's 1pm, we will have a practice for the parliamentary procedures(i am the chairman) and yet, the video i am downloading has 3/4 more to go!damn, its raining outside, i don't have any umbrella.okay, so i messed up this post, i couldn't even remember what i was talking about. anyway, knowing things never really guarantees wisdom, for wisdom is knowing what things we should know, so we can understand the underlying truth of everything.
nitimur in vetitium semper, cupimusque negata.
ii. my infatuation with (the world)
last thursday (august something), i joined the annual (and unending) tagisan ng talino sa wika at panitikan, division level. so prior to that (poorly organized) event, i had too bury my (cute,wahaha) face on bulks and piles of old, smelly books on the works and crafts of the country's best writers. i learned what vocabulario dela lengua tagala meant, and the great difference between pupdoh and dimasalang. but besides the quiz which is relatively more convenient (a chalk and a cardboard, how convenient can it get) i had to write an interpretative essay and, dig this, extemporaneous speech, in filipino. though that isn't really so shocking, heck, what is so shocking with blabbering things in our lingua franca?it's just that, nothing actually. it's not the whole point of this paragraph. the point is, the horoscope is real (and why can't i shake off the surprise?!!). and on the sunday after, was the most important examination of my life, the university of the philippines college admission test. and i need another paragraph to talk about that.
iii.poop cat, poop cat and endorphines
after the contest, we had this (sadist-made long test in english) then the saturday after i had to cram, kill myself, waste my life and rot my soul in studying four years worth of academic knowledge in 15 hours. though i like doing things under pressure, the fact that i didn't give myself a break was rather stupid of me (as a living, breathing human being).fuck, what the hell am i saying, my limewire video updates are interrupting the flow of my thought!!so, the day after (sunday morning), i had to wake up at 4:30am, clean myself, fill myself and hopped in a friend's car that took us in bicol university arcilla hall, college of social science and philosophy. i was abit late so they had to pick me up, which was quite embarassing(though i no longer feel embarassed on aything). the upcat was, well, efficient.stupid description. yes, the upcat was indeed efficient because i felt that the questions really wanted to know how far my intellect can reach. like, arranging sentences, arranging words, or, how about this, knowing how an angle measures in a stupid, damn trapezoid. what good is in a trapezoid anyway?!! i have never ever eaten a trapezoid bread, i have never ever seen a trapezoid rice, i have never even seen a trapezoid bill or a trapezoid coin or a fucking trapezoid house!so why bother my life with knowing what the measures of a trapezoidal angles are!!damn you! so anyway, shit, these people are so noisy, so unappreciative of intellectual expression. the upcat was overall fine, fun, and even worthy of...err..fun. when the upcat was over, i was actually so happy. so upbeat, i loved it. not because it was such a breeze, but because i didn't have to curse myslef (like what happened during the 2nd screeing at pisay).in short, i didn't feel stupid, because i am not.hahaha.at least i never said anything so boastfully delusioned or egotistically perverted or even centrically derailed such as "parang long test" whatever, psycho. my course has a higher quota than yours, psycho.and so, i pray, and pray and pray, that i get in the intarmed program. and if i don't then i read this post in the future, 1st floor or 8th floor, i will jump out the window.
iv. janitor fish dreams
i am getting headaches. this blog site has the lousiest font control buttons that i had ever seen. so, it has been about 10 minutes after i typed the subtitle just above because i peeked at jiki's friendster profile. he is as demented as before and sounded dehydrated. who wouldn't get dehydrated of thought if your in a school like L- S----!!anyway, i won again in the regional level of tagisan ng talino sa wika at panitikan. and good thing that it had a cash prize, some 1500 worth of gift certificate at Gaisano Mall (hey, that is cash because cash is anything used for exchange and accepted by a bank at face value, well, this would not be accepted by any bank, obviously). it made me think about what our school principal told me, that i was already financing myself. because a month ago i also won in a contest with some hefty cash prize.again, my horoscope was correct, because i read that this year would be a financially productive year. so, after winning in the region, and after taking the periodic test (which i toiled for, to which i sacrificed minutes and hours of sleep, for which i ate dozens of chocolates to keep my brain pumping, for which i drank 6 cups of caffeine,,damn the world!!!) now, i have to pack my bags and head off to marikina, where the national will be. oh shit it's 1pm, we will have a practice for the parliamentary procedures(i am the chairman) and yet, the video i am downloading has 3/4 more to go!damn, its raining outside, i don't have any umbrella.okay, so i messed up this post, i couldn't even remember what i was talking about. anyway, knowing things never really guarantees wisdom, for wisdom is knowing what things we should know, so we can understand the underlying truth of everything.
nitimur in vetitium semper, cupimusque negata.
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(1) choo choo